As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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