i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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