I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
