I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
