I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
