I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Randomize
