Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize