Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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