i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize