Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
