How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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