I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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