i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
