Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
