We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
