Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
