Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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