whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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