in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
