There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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