What did we do last night that was yellow?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
