Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We are two peas in an std pod
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
