I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
