So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
