so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
BRING THE BAGELS
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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