I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
