I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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