why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
