I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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