Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
