respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
