No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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