as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
