I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
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