Im at strip club and am horny
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
In other news, I just burned my penis
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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