David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize