Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Randomize
