is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
