..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
