On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
