dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
