i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
