There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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