Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Can I color on your dick again?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
