Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
