I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
