oh fat girl friday strikes again...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize