well he's currently spooning the coffee table
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
