Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
