So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize