Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I didn't notice because vodka
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
