Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
