i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
