seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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