I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
