btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
