Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
