had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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