Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
These tits shall not be calmed
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
