im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize