So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
