Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
