I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
