people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
