i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
