hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
