oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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