Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
