When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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