It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
