Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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