It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
